Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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