Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize