I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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