This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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