ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
