How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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