I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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