My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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