she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
