UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
