my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My penis needs a shock collar
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
