just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
