Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
