after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
