i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize