End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
