I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
