Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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