i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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