quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You left your underwear on the fireplace
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
