I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
