needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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