It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
