Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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