i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
