i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
