We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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