I am spending my child support on dildos
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
