Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
