If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
