I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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