she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
