we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
