I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
