Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
