I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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