i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
