There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
