Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I've blown a few things in my day
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
