The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
