you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
