My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
