Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
