Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
