Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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