Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i need some magic done to my vagina
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
