Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
