i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I want her autograph on my taint
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
