It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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