So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
