i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
