Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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