I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
