My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
