What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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