peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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